John Said What?

I have kept track of some of the things my 9 children have said to me over the years. John was born 3/6/1962:

_____Date_____ They Said What?

October 26, 1962 Ricky was wearing a Holloween mask and trying to scare baby John. He growled at the baby and baby John just looked at him and then growled back!! Ricky was seven years old and John was 7 months old.

November 21, 1962 John stuck a hanger into his mouth and pushed down on it and it stuck under his tongue. Yuk. 8 Months

Age 17 Months

August 20, 1963 John picked up a garter snake in the yard and brought it to me as I was hanging out clothes on the clothes line.

November 12, 1963 Caught John greasing his tummy and chest with white paste! Age 20 months.

Age 4

January 20, 1965 John came to me carrying a bottle of goats milk and said, "I want some Billy Goat milk".

April 3, 1965 While eating breakfast John suddenly said, "Grandpa can't have milk cause he doesn't have a mama or daddy cow at his house".

April 18, 1965 After reading a long time I told Becky and John I could no longer read to them because I was losing my voice and John opened his mouth, reached up to his mouth and then held out his hand to me while saying, "Here, use mine".

May 7, 1965 John was using the rest room in the basement of the old church at Nativity and we heard a man talk. John said, "God can talk?" and later as we left the man coughed and John said, "God is coughing, Mom, he has a bad cold". (The man was sitting behind a desk in the Credit Union.)

Age 4

September 28, 1965 John was watching Timmy nurse and said, "Let's pretend he is drinking milk on that side and water on the other side, okay"?

November 12, 1965 John excitedly pointed to a 'marrying place' as we passed by a church. I asked how he knew that was a church and he said, "It doesn't have a chimney or smoke on top".

May 14, 1966 I told John he could have no more cookies, period, and he said very seriously, "No, Mom, I don't want any period, I just want a cookie".

June 10, 1966 John was eating fish and pulled all the meat off, held the skelton up and exclaimed, "Look at the fishes teeth".

September 7, 1966 John walked in and noticed my tea pot for the first time and exclaimed, "Oh, a genie!"

September 26, 1966 I corrected John for giving the movable lamp base such a going over by moving it hither and thither and he answered, "Mom, I'm just exercising it!".

September 26, 1966 John was telling me "Negro" is a good word and "Nigger" is a bad word and I told him yes that was correct and then I told him he is a "Caucasian" and he looked sad and asked, "Does that mean I am not John anymore?"

September 26, 1966 John saw a snub nosed bus coming toward us down the street and he very excitedly exclaimed, "Here comes a bus driving down the street backwards!".

September 27, 1966 I was making cake batter and needed wax paper to sift the flour onto. As I tore a piece off of the roll John looked startled and asked, "Are you going to wrap the cake batter in that paper?"

October 12, 1966 I was washing John's hands with very warm water and he naturally was rebelling so I said, "Well, John, we'll kill the germs on your hands with this hot water," and John replied, "Well, you can freeze them if you use cold water."

October 30, 1966 John was getting ready to change the wheels on his little truck and I discouraged it because I was afraid they would get lost, as usual, and John said, "But, Mom, are they on the right feet then?"

November 6, 1966 John noticed my bent grapefruit knife (made that way) and very excitedly said, "Oh, the kids bent your knife, Mom!"

November 6, 1966 John was playing with his blocks and suddenly he discovered the blocks are made from wood and was amazed. He then asked who made the blocks and where they came from. Neat to see and hear a child discovering things.

November10, 1966 John had Becky's thermos and was going to get a drink from it. I took a quick whiff of the contents and told John the milk was sour. John smelled it and said, "It is not sour, it just stinks."

November 15, 1966 In memorizing the President's from one of Tom's classes he was attending we learned the washing machine stands for George Washington, the agitator for Adams and Thomas Jefferson is sitting in the machine reading the Declaration of Independence. Later John saw a picture of Thomas Jefferson reading the Declaration of Independence in the Encyclopedia and looking very baffled he said, "Why, he's not sitting in a washing machine at all."

November 15, 1966 John has been collecting bugs, beetles and grasshoppers all fall in a jar and loving them to pieces. Today we caught a mouse and he excitedly maneuvered trap and mouse into his jar. It dropped once and he let out a ear piercing scream. I found him at the kitchen table later trying to disengage the mouse from the trap with a spoon and fork!!! Still later I found the mouse and jar sitting beside my lunch on the stove!! I am getting sick to my stomach! At supper we had steak and John told me it was good and asked if I had cooked his mouse for him. Forget it already, John.

December 1, 1966 John saw Tom taking a stick of dietic gum and wanted some, too. Tom told him it is for people on diets and John, without a pause, informed us he is now on a diet, too.

December 1, 1966 John was trying to pour water into the sink and missed the sink and the water ran down the front of the cabinet and John mischieviously informed me that my house was crooked!

December 20, 1966 I was driving through rush hour traffic and frightened to death. I told the children they could at least say a prayer for me. All quieted down and then John said, "Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gifts. Amen.

December 23, 1966 John was exercising in the living room and he commented to his Grandmother Dierkes that she'd better exercise so she would not fall all to pieces.

January 20, 1967 John was talking to me and I was smiling at his seriousness and suddenly John stopped talking and studied me intently and then said, "Stop smiling, Mom. You're not supposed to smile now. Don't you know 'Candid Camera' is in bed now?"

Age 5

July 26, 1967 TJ asked John if he was eating an apple and John told him he was not and said it was a peach. TJ told him it looked like an apple, so John informed him he already knew that but he had just rubbed all the fur off to make it look like an apple.

August 11, 1967 I was taking John to Doctor Pugh's office for a physical for kg and he was not very excited about this at all. Just as we were ready to leave home I asked him if he had gone to the bathroom yet and then on second thought, I told him to forget it since the doctor would probably want a urine specimen anyway and John became quite alarmed and started crying and said, "You mean the doctor is going to cut off a piece of my ear for a specimen?"

October 3, 1967 John saw the Kansas City skyline as we came over a hill approaching Kansas City. He exclaimed excitedly, "Look, you can see the whole world from here!"

January 29, 1968 John came home from school and entered through the back door instead of the front door. I asked why he came in the back way and he said, "I saw the barrel knocked over in the backyard". I was surprised and as I looked out the window I asked if he meant the trash barrel was turned over and he said, "I didn't mean the trash barrel. I meant the hamburger barrel." Finally figured out he meant the barbecue.

February 11, 1968 John was eating Jello and as it was shaking on his spoon he remarked that his Jello was jiggling.

February 12, 1968 John asked me I wanted to buy a pony act. I questioned him on that remark and he said, "Yes, look." He showed me a picture and it was a Pontiac car.

May 2, 1968 John and I were looking at a picture of Uncle Dick's new home. I said, "Here's a bedroom with a chest and twin beds in it." John became excited and asked, "Oh, does he have twins?"

May 6, 1968 John asked me if I was an old lady now and I told him not quite but why did he ask. He said, "Cause you're getting those wrinkles on the side of your eyes like Grandma." (PS. I am 37 years old, so beware, dear daughters.)

Age 6

May 9, 1968 John wanted some left over ham at bedtime and said, "Mom, I want some of that stuff that came from cow's meat!"

Age 7

March 29, 1969 Msgr. Bauer asked John if he was familiar with the Seven Sacraments and John said he was, so Msgr. asked him to name them. John said, "Pope John, Pope Paul" and we all started laughing, which made John kind of mad.

September 6, 1969 John was playing with two toy police motorcycles and one toy auto. He placed one motorcycle on each end of the car and said, "Mom, lookeee, they caught this man left-handed and gave him a ticket." (Do you suppose he meant red handed?)

September 22, 1969 While painting an old wagon wheel my Dad gave me from one of his old wagons, a neighbor, Mark Hayden, asked me where I had bought the wheel. I said, "My dad gave it to me, he used it on his farm." Mark said in awe, "Gosh," and John said, "Of course, Grandpa used it. He was born in the olden days."

December 11, 1969 John looked at two month old Camille McClintic (first cousin) and asked, "Is it going to be a girl?"

December 22, 1969 John saw some small biscuits and asked, "Are they shrinking?"

December 23, 1969 While decorating cookies with red, green and a mustard looking yellow John came into the kitchen and said, "Oh, no, you're not putting mustard on the cookies, are you?"

March 29, 1970 John was studying my Dad's family picture and said, "Boy, Mom, they sure did get married a lot of times." (Just because there were 10 children in the family? Well, not quite what you meant , JP.)

Age 9

February 3, 1972 Tom sent John to wash up good because he said he smelled like a dog and I told Tom to be more gentle, because I thought he had hurt John's feelings and probably made him cry. Tom called John back from upstairs and he was crying, for sure. Tom asked him why he was crying and John cried, "Because you hurt my feelings, that's why."

Age 11

June 12, 1973 John and I told Tim that June the 21st was the first day of summer and John said, "Yes, it is the longest day of the year, too." Tim was surprised and said, "Oh, really? How many hours does it have?"

Age 15

January 12, 1978 I swiped a half slice of John's toast behind his back and he looked at his toast in puzzlement, walked over to the toaster, popped it up and looked inside in complete bewilderment, then looked at me and saw me trying to hide a smile and figured out who the rat was who swiped his toast. Sorry, John.

Age 16

October 21, 1979 John said when he was 6 years old and his birthday was on March 6th he thought it was because he was 6 and he thought the next year when he was 7 his birthday would be on March 7th and so on and when he was 30 or 31 he would have to make a new calendar page with more numbers to accommodate his birthdays.

April 22, 1980 Tom didn't go to work as early as usual today. I took Dave to the hospital at 6 this morning to get ear tubes for his ears and John was left at home in a pickle as to how to blow dry his hair without causing friction with his Dad. What to do?! He wrapped the hair dryer in a towel and went out behind the garage and plugged it into the pool socket. Good thing you didn't get electrocuted, JP. And, where there's a will there's a way, right?

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_____Date_____	They Said What?
October 26, 1962	Ricky was wearing a Holloween mask and trying to scare baby John. He growled at the baby and baby John just looked at him and then growled back!! Ricky was seven years old and John was 7 months old.
November 21, 1962	John stuck a hanger into his mouth and pushed down on it and it stuck under his tongue. Yuk. 8 Months
	Age 17 Months
August 20, 1963	John picked up a garter snake in the yard and brought it to me as I was hanging out clothes on the clothes line.
November 12, 1963	Caught John greasing his tummy and chest with white paste! Age 20 months.
	Age 4
January 20, 1965	John came to me carrying a bottle of goats milk and said, "I want some Billy Goat milk".
April 3, 1965	While eating breakfast John suddenly said, "Grandpa can't have milk cause he doesn't have a mama or daddy cow at his house".
April 18, 1965	After reading a long time I told Becky and John I could no longer read to them because I was losing my voice and John opened his mouth, reached up to his mouth and then held out his hand to me while saying, "Here, use mine".
May 7, 1965	John was using the rest room in the basement of the old church at Nativity and we heard a man talk. John said, "God can talk?" and later as we left the man coughed and John said, "God is coughing, Mom, he has a bad cold". (The man was sitting behind a desk in the Credit Union.)
	Age 4
September 28, 1965	John was watching Timmy nurse and said, "Let's pretend he is drinking milk on that side and water on the other side, okay"?
November 12, 1965	John excitedly pointed to a 'marrying place' as we passed by a church. I asked how he knew that was a church and he said, "It doesn't have a chimney or smoke on top".
May 14, 1966	I told John he could have no more cookies, period, and he said very seriously, "No, Mom, I don't want any period, I just want a cookie".
June 10, 1966	John was eating fish and pulled all the meat off, held the skelton up and exclaimed, "Look at the fishes teeth".
September 7, 1966	John walked in and noticed my tea pot for the first time and exclaimed, "Oh, a genie!"
September 26, 1966	I corrected John for giving the movable lamp base such a going over by moving it hither and thither and he answered, "Mom, I'm just exercising it!".
September 26, 1966	John was telling me "Negro" is a good word and "Nigger" is a bad word and I told him yes that was correct and then I told him he is a "Caucasian" and he looked sad and asked, "Does that mean I am not John anymore?"
September 26, 1966	John saw a snub nosed bus coming toward us down the street and he very excitedly exclaimed, "Here comes a bus driving down the street backwards!".
September 27, 1966	I was making cake batter and needed wax paper to sift the flour onto. As I tore a piece off of the roll John looked startled and asked, "Are you going to wrap the cake batter in that paper?"
October 12, 1966	I was washing John's hands with very warm water and he naturally was rebelling so I said, "Well, John, we'll kill the germs on your hands with this hot water," and John replied, "Well, you can freeze them if you use cold water."
October 30, 1966	John was getting ready to change the wheels on his little truck and I discouraged it because I was afraid they would get lost, as usual, and John said, "But, Mom, are they on the right feet then?"
November 6, 1966	John noticed my bent grapefruit knife (made that way) and very excitedly said, "Oh, the kids bent your knife, Mom!"
November 6, 1966	John was playing with his blocks and suddenly he discovered the blocks are made from wood and was amazed. He then asked who made the blocks and where they came from. Neat to see and hear a child discovering things.
November10, 1966	John had Becky's thermos and was going to get a drink from it. I took a quick whiff of the contents and told John the milk was sour. John smelled it and said, "It is not sour, it just stinks."
November 15, 1966	In memorizing the President's from one of Tom's classes he was attending we learned the washing machine stands for George Washington, the agitator for Adams and Thomas Jefferson is sitting in the machine reading the Declaration of Independence. Later John saw a picture of Thomas Jefferson reading the Declaration of Independence in the Encyclopedia and looking very baffled he said, "Why, he's not sitting in a washing machine at all."
November 15, 1966	John has been collecting bugs, beetles and grasshoppers all fall in a jar and loving them to pieces. Today we caught a mouse and he excitedly maneuvered trap and mouse into his jar. It dropped once and he let out a ear piercing scream. I found him at the kitchen table later trying to disengage the mouse from the trap with a spoon and fork!!! Still later I found the mouse and jar sitting beside my lunch on the stove!! I am getting sick to my stomach! At supper we had steak and John told me it was good and asked if I had cooked his mouse for him. Forget it already, John.
December 1, 1966	John saw Tom taking a stick of dietic gum and wanted some, too. Tom told him it is for people on diets and John, without a pause, informed us he is now on a diet, too.
December 1, 1966	John was trying to pour water into the sink and missed the sink and the water ran down the front of the cabinet and John mischieviously informed me that my house was crooked!
December 20, 1966	I was driving through rush hour traffic and frightened to death. I told the children they could at least say a prayer for me. All quieted down and then John said, "Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gifts. Amen.
December 23, 1966	John was exercising in the living room and he commented to his Grandmother Dierkes that she'd better exercise so she would not fall all to pieces.
January 20, 1967	John was talking to me and I was smiling at his seriousness and suddenly John stopped talking and studied me intently and then said, "Stop smiling, Mom. You're not supposed to smile now. Don't you know 'Candid Camera' is in bed now?"
	Age 5
July 26, 1967	TJ asked John if he was eating an apple and John told him he was not and said it was a peach. TJ told him it looked like an apple, so John informed him he already knew that but he had just rubbed all the fur off to make it look like an apple.
August 11, 1967	I was taking John to Doctor Pugh's office for a physical for kg and he was not very excited about this at all. Just as we were ready to leave home I asked him if he had gone to the bathroom yet and then on second thought, I told him to forget it since the doctor would probably want a urine specimen anyway and John became quite alarmed and started crying and said, "You mean the doctor is going to cut off a piece of my ear for a specimen?"
October 3, 1967	John saw the Kansas City skyline as we came over a hill approaching Kansas City. He exclaimed excitedly, "Look, you can see the whole world from here!"
January 29, 1968	John came home from school and entered through the back door instead of the front door. I asked why he came in the back way and he said, "I saw the barrel knocked over in the backyard". I was surprised and as I looked out the window I asked if he meant the trash barrel was turned over and he said, "I didn't mean the trash barrel. I meant the hamburger barrel." Finally figured out he meant the barbecue.
February 11, 1968	John was eating Jello and as it was shaking on his spoon he remarked that his Jello was jiggling.
February 12, 1968	John asked me I wanted to buy a pony act. I questioned him on that remark and he said, "Yes, look." He showed me a picture and it was a Pontiac car.
May 2, 1968	John and I were looking at a picture of Uncle Dick's new home. I said, "Here's a bedroom with a chest and twin beds in it." John became excited and asked, "Oh, does he have twins?"
May 6, 1968	John asked me if I was an old lady now and I told him not quite but why did he ask. He said, "Cause you're getting those wrinkles on the side of your eyes like Grandma." (PS. I am 37 years old, so beware, dear daughters.)
	Age 6
May 9, 1968	John wanted some left over ham at bedtime and said, "Mom, I want some of that stuff that came from cow's meat!"
	Age 7
March 29, 1969	Msgr. Bauer asked John if he was familiar with the Seven Sacraments and John said he was, so Msgr. asked him to name them. John said, "Pope John, Pope Paul" and we all started laughing, which made John kind of mad.
September 6, 1969	John was playing with two toy police motorcycles and one toy auto. He placed one motorcycle on each end of the car and said, "Mom, lookeee, they caught this man left-handed and gave him a ticket." (Do you suppose he meant red handed?)
September 22, 1969	While painting an old wagon wheel my Dad gave me from one of his old wagons, a neighbor, Mark Hayden, asked me where I had bought the wheel. I said, "My dad gave it to me, he used it on his farm." Mark said in awe, "Gosh," and John said, "Of course, Grandpa used it. He was born in the olden days."
December 11, 1969	John looked at two month old Camille McClintic (first cousin) and asked, "Is it going to be a girl?"
December 22, 1969	John saw some small biscuits and asked, "Are they shrinking?"
December 23, 1969	While decorating cookies with red, green and a mustard looking yellow John came into the kitchen and said, "Oh, no, you're not putting mustard on the cookies, are you?"
March 29, 1970	John was studying my Dad's family picture and said, "Boy, Mom, they sure did get married a lot of times." (Just because there were 10 children in the family? Well, not quite what you meant , JP.)
	Age 9
February 3, 1972	Tom sent John to wash up good because he said he smelled like a dog and I told Tom to be more gentle, because I thought he had hurt John's feelings and probably made him cry. Tom called John back from upstairs and he was crying, for sure. Tom asked him why he was crying and John cried, "Because you hurt my feelings, that's why."
	Age 11
June 12, 1973	John and I told Tim that June the 21st was the first day of summer and John said, "Yes, it is the longest day of the year, too." Tim was surprised and said, "Oh, really? How many hours does it have?"
	Age 15
January 12, 1978	I swiped a half slice of John's toast behind his back and he looked at his toast in puzzlement, walked over to the toaster, popped it up and looked inside in complete bewilderment, then looked at me and saw me trying to hide a smile and figured out who the rat was who swiped his toast. Sorry, John.
	Age 16
October 21, 1979	John said when he was 6 years old and his birthday was on March 6th he thought it was because he was 6 and he thought the next year when he was 7 his birthday would be on March 7th and so on and when he was 30 or 31 he would have to make a new calendar page with more numbers to accommodate his birthdays.
April 22, 1980	Tom didn't go to work as early as usual today. I took Dave to the hospital at 6 this morning to get ear tubes for his ears and John was left at home in a pickle as to how to blow dry his hair without causing friction with his Dad. What to do?! He wrapped the hair dryer in a towel and went out behind the garage and plugged it into the pool socket. Good thing you didn't get electrocuted, JP. And, where there's a will there's a way, right?